"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you." - Christion Morgenstern
"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them." -J.K. Rowling

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Great Prank War, Round One (Girls): Pre-historic AIDS

Since Katie and I pretty much started this war, our attack is the beginning of round one - "The Deed is Done" is the prequel, kinda like the Olive Branch Petition to the Revolutionary War. Did you really think we would let the guys attack Katie's car without retaliating? Even if we did insult their masculinity - we stand behind what we said, ESPECIALLY after we came up with this idea.
You see, Katie and I have been sisters for four long years. We know each other extremely well. This is a very important thing to have when on a team. Katie and I can hold fully fledged conversations with the boys and be talking about something completely different at the same time. I highly recommend that kind of connection when entering your own prank war. The second thing you'll need is the proper supplies - as the boys learned in their rather humiliating part of the prequel. Katie and I are definitely veterans to the art of pranking. We were TECHIES in high school for crying out loud. We have SO got this war thing in the bag. Thirdly, the ability to work quietly and quickly. If we make so much as a scritch while attacking Ryan, he'll hear us. Fourth, we couldn't pull a prank without getting their input. So we called this Katie's AIDS project for her MA class, and asked for their opinions on what color the 'cell' should be and how we should make the 'tail' of a syringe, constantly referring to the AIDS virus as prehistoric so as to elude to the dinosaur element. Neither of them seemed to pick up on our true plans, oh well.

Besides, boys, my team mate's title is THE PLOTTER. Do you really thing you can out plot her?

This prank was a two day process for us. We had had the basic idea for a while, but we needed to work out the finer details. We pulled out our hoard of poster board, and began cutting. Being the writer of the group, I was charged with thinking of the clever little message we would leave.

For those of you who would like to use our ideas, here is a list of things needed to turn any given car into a dinosaur:

  1. Poster board - easily manipulated into the spikes down the spine of the beast, different colors add more personality and allow you to make eyes and a tongue as well. The poster board is also useful for any kind of sign or message you want to leave (see the picture descriptions for ours)

  2. Tape - Scotch works to hold the different pieces together but you'll have to use something stronger for mounting them - painters tape works well if you get ALL of the plastic wrap off. Duct tape may damage the paint job, which would have been against our rules. Go for brands you know will work, I had to get creative with some of the tape tonight

  3. Shaving cream - you can coat the car or just do little spots like we did, either way you want to go for the women's cream: it smells SO much better, and is actually better at holding onto the pickles

  4. Pickles - we used ours to give the dinosaurs Spotted Pickle Fever - a.k.a. prehistoric AIDS - but they can also be used as scales if you do it correctly

  5. Tail - I made the tails for our dinos out of a springy door stop, two everyday plastic straws, and some yarn. Tape is also helpful to hold this part together

  6. Markers - usually helpful with the sign part . . . just saying

  7. Proper attire - it is NO fun to prank in every day clothes, Katie and I adopted the clad black attire of the techies. This stuff is SO much for fun when you feel like a criminal.

Before I left to work the morning of the attack, I loaded everything we might possibly need into the back of my car - including all of our back up supplies. Ryan and I spent some time together, discussing evil children and swapping work stories. The whole time Ryan was never more than 20 feet away from discovering our plan - he not only sat in the remnants of part of it - pickle juice - but he even helped us shop for parts of it.

I made up an excuse for taking Katie to work because we would be pranking once she was off her shift at Costa Vida - Home of the Burrito - and left. Once she was safely at work, I returned to the theatre, where Ryan was currently on shift, and hung around a while antagonizing him with annoyingly knowing smiles. I left early to HIS house to discuss our prank with his parents (see rule #7), and collect last minute supplies from my house - the black clothing and camera (see rule #9). I sat outside of Costa Vida - Home of the Burrito - like a creeper for a good thirty minutes and then Katie and I zoomed to our first victim's house.

We pulled up to Tanner's house praying that his car was actually present. The sight of good old Jack - The Pumpkin King - caused a sigh of relief to issue from our lips as I threw Denton - the Car - into reverse, and backed into his driveway. We chatted quietly as I taped the spikes on the hood and back window and Katie shaving cream and pickled. It might have been the hushed voices, or the black clothing, but I'm pretty sure someone was watching us the entire time. Once we finished Tanner's car we tore out of there as fast as Denton - the Car's - brand new wheels (see "What Happens When Paige Is In A Car Part 2, 3, . . . and 4) would carry us.

We sidled up to Ryan's car, backwards, and immediately got to work at our previous assignments. We were much quieter here because Ryan is usually pretty good at telling when people get to his house - down to ID by the sound your car engine makes. About five minutes after we'd begun, the light in Ryan's room flicked on - Kate and I froze in utter terror. Seconds later, the light disappeared and we went back to work. Fifteen minutes before we finished, the light flicked on again, and refused to go back out. The Plotter and I took a deep breath and continued our work, sure that this time we were DEFINITELY being watched. Once we finished taking pictures of Birdie - the Painted - Team Girl was speeding away in their getaway car, texting our classic notification - "The deed is done" - to both boys (see rule #8).

Unable to resist the opportunity to mock Ryan, Katie convinced me to flip a u-turn and we watched as Ryan ran out of his house to assess the damage - though none was permanent (see rule #5). We passed twice, cackling in the glory of our victory.

To be continued. . . .

Moments Like These
The sign says: "In the prehistoric era, the world as we know it could not exist. Giant lizards, known as dinosaurs, ruled the earth. There has been much debate on how they became extinct. Was it a comet or the Ice Age? They say the world may never know. We figured it out though - we know what killed the dinosaurs. These prehistoric beasts were killed by none other than a prehistoric disease - Spotted Pickle Fever. Our research shows that the disease has been making a comeback, attacking the true beasts of our time: cars. We were on our way to warn you, but alas, we were too late. . . . <3/>

Pictures of the process, in case anyone cares.

1 comment:

  1. I reserve the right to rewrite this post. It is 2:00 in the morning and I was cringing while editing but I don't really care right now.