"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you." - Christion Morgenstern
"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them." -J.K. Rowling

Monday, January 3, 2011

"My mom wants to know if you'll take an IOU?"

As Ryan -The Comic Relief- said in his blog post, planned days are the only time he and I can ever hang out. Ryan and myself have not hung out in a really long time, and the list of stuff we wanted to do just kept getting longer and longer. So finally, we decided that we would just make a day that we could hang out, so we decided on last week.

About two weeks ago, Ryan and myself were talking about the possibility of me meeting one of Ryan's best friend, Mandy. Ryan has not seen her for a couple years (I think... I may be wrong), and I know he misses her like crazy. So I told him that I would be willing to drive him to Brigham City to see her. We had our minds set on Tuesday the 28th, and we both got that day off work.

The day before our little adventure up north, I texted Ryan to make sure everything was still going according to plan. Ryan replied informing me that there was a scheduling conflict, and Mandy was not able to make time to meet us. I was disappointed because I have heard so much about Mandy, and she seems like a really awesome girl, so I wanted to meet her. But, despite the fact that our original plan failed, I was still determined to hang out with him.

So the next day I showed up at Ryan's house somewhere around noon, and I showed him a really awesome shirt from Express -The "Ryan's Hell"- that Katie had bought for me. (To give a little history, Ryan loves Express, but he won't let himself buy stuff from there because that store is super expensive.) Express was having a sale on their shirts, and they were only $20 instead of the normal $60. Ryan didn't believe me, so he went onto their website, and sure enough, they were having a sale on their shirts. After debating with himself (which is always fun to watch), Ryan finally decided to go to Express with me to buy some clothes.

Almost two hours later, Ryan and I ended up at the South Towne Mall and went straight for Express. (Yeah, that's right, Ryan Ditty was inside of Express.) We both spent some time looking at different shirts and everything. I found a couple shirts I wanted to try on, so I went into the changing rooms. I asked an employee (who, by the way, had a very peculiar lisp) if he could let me in and he opened a door for me. "So, what's your name?" he asked me.

"Tanner," I responded.

"Hi, Tanner. I'm Tim, just let me know if you need anything, honey."

I closed the door in shock, instantly I sent a text to Ryan: "So, the MALE employee over here just called me honey."

"You are such a homo magnet," Ryan replied. I laughed out loud for a couple minutes, and tried on the shirts I had. After deciding on the purple shirt (yes, I said purple), I walked out to find Ryan staring at a pair of pants. "These are one hundred dollars!" he said to me as I walked up next to him.

"You know you want to get them, Ryan. They'll look so good on you," I said, provoking him.

"You are a bad influence," Ryan muttered as he walked away from the pants, disappointed. We shopped around for a little bit longer, Ryan decided on a shirt, and we stepped up to the cash register. "Wow," Ryan said, "I didn't think I would ever walk out of this place only spending twenty one bucks." I just laughed because I could tell there were about two hundred dollars worth of other things he wanted.

We walked around the mall, looking for Banana Republic (Ryan gets a discount there through his older brother), but there wasn't one in that mall, so we decided to drive up to Fashion Place Mall. After driving up to Fashion Place, we got bored and got on the freeway heading home. However, I accidentally got on the wrong side of the road, and ended up going the totally opposite direction of where we wanted to go. So the idea poped into my mind, "Well, we could always see your cousin." Ryan was hesitant because of the long driving distance, to which I just looked at him. "Oh, that's right, Tanner, you like driving." Ryan called Ethan (his cousin) and asked Ethan what he was up to. "Oh, well call me back when you're finished," I heard Ryan say as he hung up. "Ethan's cleaning his car, and he has no plans for the night. Let's go up and surprise him," he said to me.

"Okay," I said (excitedly, of course). I then stepped on the gas and continued my way up to Farmington. After fifteen minutes, we arrived at our exit, and Ryan pointed me in the direction towards Ethan's house. After being lost for a few minutes, we finally arrived at our point of destination, just to discover that Ethan was gone. So Ryan called Ethan "Where are you?" Ryan was being totally casual, and told Ethan to call him when he got home. Then Ryan started getting really defensive (I then knew that Ethan was guessing Ryan was up there) and guilted Ethan into believing that Ryan just wanted to talk.

After driving around a little bit waiting, Ryan finally got a call from Ethan. Ryan then hung up after talking for two seconds, "He already knows we're here." So we showed up at Ethan's house and kidnapped him to Starbucks (where else would we go?). While Ryan forced Starbucks at Ethan, Ethan texted him mom informing her that he had been kidnapped. His mom answered asking what the ransom would be, to which Ryan replied that it had to be hazelnut chocolate. Then, Ethan texted some girls who were in love with Ryan. After a twenty minute long debate, Ethan convinced me to drive them both to some crazy girl's house (I don't remember her name, let's call her Mary).

We showed up to Mary's house, and Mary also had a friend (...Sarah? Yeah, let's go with that) Sarah over (another girl desperate for Ryan's love). We stood in the freezing cold outside world, and then Ethan got a phone call from his mom. "Yeah, I'm just at Mary's house," then he turned to Ryan, "My mom wants to know if you'll take an 'I-Owe-You'?"

"NO! I want my chocolate now!" Ryan demanded. We just laughed as Ethan ran off to finish talking to his mom. Then Sarah got a phone call from her friend, and she ran off leaving Ryan and myself alone. "We need to get away from here," Ryan whispered to me. I just laughed, and texted Lizzie Ostler (my fiancé), and sent "Lizzie, call me right now and yell at me for not showing up on our date."

Right as I hit send everyone was back together standing in the most awkward conversation I have ever seen. Not too long later, my phone rang. "OH CRAP!" I yelled, "I forgot about Lizzie!"

"Really? Well, we've got to go, Tanner forgot about his date with his girlfriend," Ryan informed Mary and Sarah, and we were off. Ryan, Ethan, and myself just laughed as we drove off and explained to Lizzie why I asked her to yell at me.

After that we took Ethan home, and headed to our house again to meet up with Katie. Overall, it was a pretty fun and exciting night.