The Pagan Series: Part Four

This eerie episode has quite the introduction. Every horror story needs some comic relief, right?
This episode begins with a craving. A really bad one. See, I'd just returned from a week and a half vacation to Europe, and I REALLY wanted Happy Hippos (copyright Kinder Chocolate Co.). They are probably the most delectable coffee-shop style treats on the entire planet. Ask anyone. So what did I need to do? That's right. Hippo hunting.
The natural habitat of the Happy Hippo is a little shop called Toasters, in Salt Lake, so I didn't want to go all the way up there by myself. Katie was at work and Ryan was in the Happiest Place on Earth, so I called Tanner. He readily agreed, and before we left Taylor - the older brother - asked if I wanted to hang out, so I invited him along. Though he was confused, he agreed to come along so long as he could drive - he's a little strange that way. After seriously confusing my little sister and her friends, we left to track down the majestic hippo.
Taylor - the older brother - got us there pretty quickly, after a couple of racist comments and some amazing music we arrived at Toasters. I bought five boxes.

The look the clerk gave me was priceless. To her credit, she tried to hide it, but it was pretty obvious that she thought I was some sick and twisted teenager. I'm not saying I'm not, just not in the way she was thinking.

Did you really think I was going to eat ALL of those hippos by myself? I'm not fat, people, come on. I forced Taylor - the older brother - to eat one because he was a little hesitant to actually eat a hippo. Tanner ate some, and we ended up taking some to Katie at work. I bought some to save for Ryan - because of his Jimmy employment he had previously experienced the succulentity of the hippos - and a box to drop by Ryan's house because after a week and a half of a vacation I was seriously missing the Ditty side of my family. Tanner and I directed Taylor - the older brother - to Ryan's house from the freeway which means we had to pass the Pagan Property.
Poor Taylor - the older brother - hadn't ever heard of these haunted humans, so when we passed their house and Tanner and I got pretty quiet, he was slightly confused. When we realized that the Pagans were out and about, sneaking around the neighborhood in their preferred shadows, Tanner and I freaked out. Literally. Taylor - the older brother - looked around panicked when we started screaming. He pulled into Denton - the Car's - usual parking spot and watched with worried eyes and a more than slightly concerned expression as Tanner and I took a deep breath and hurled ourselves from the car - charging at Ryan's front door in a desperate dash for our lives. Mama Ditty was in the kitchen, as if she'd known we would need a sanctuary. We were already half way through our personal horror story when Taylor - the older brother - came to knock on the front door, demanding to know what had just happened. Naturally, I told him to look here . . .

Moments Like These